I've loved you since I was fourteen years old. I knew at fourteen years old that I wanted to love and marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.
And despite how many times I broke your heart, back then, you still loved me. And now, MY heart is breaking, and you don't love me anymore.
I found a whole folder of our email letters to one another from back then. Everything from the 2 months leading up to our last relationship through the 2nd month of it, just after "the incident."
May 10, 2004: "thats one thing i love about you is the fact that i can completely be myself and know thats what you love me for. im not worried about how i look or what i look likeor tryin to be somethin im not to make you like me cuz i know u like me as i am. i miss you alot. i gotta go. i'll talk to you tomorrow. xoxo"
June 19, 2004: "i was mad about the other, its just that i love you so much and i know that it wont happen again, i knew it'd be a
whole lot easier to forgive you than to try to live even one day without you."
I want that in my life again. That kind of love. The sweet, innocent star-crossed lovers' love.
I miss you. I've missed you for so long. Even right after broke up that last time. There were so many times I wanted to call you, message you, see you. I wanted to tell you that I still loved you. But I never had the guts. I always hoped that maybe, deep down, you still loved me, too, and you would come and find me, sweep me off my feet, and take me away.
But that never happened.
And now, now you're happy. You're happy and you're marrying who I hope is the true love of your life.
And although I'm crying right now, crying more tears than I've cried in so long... know that I am happy, in a way. I'm happy that you're happy. At least I hope you are.
Because I'm not. And I guess one people being happy is better than none.
Right?
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