GLEE QUOTE: EP. 15 "THE POWER OF MADONNA", AIRED 04.20.10
"MADONNA. Simply saying the name aloud makes me feel powerful, even in voiceover." -Sue
"I'm instating a new policy whereby we play Madonna's greatest hits over the PA system quite loudly throughout the entire school day." -Sue
"But blasting her delicious hooks would make it impossible for the students to concentrate!" -Figgins
"What you call insanity, I call inspiration." -Sue
"What would Madonna do? Well, the answer to that question is usually, 'Date a younger man.' So, let's see some arm candy girls. Sorry, freshmen. You're going to have to start trolling middle schools. " -Sue
"It's like what Madonna once said, 'I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know what I want. If that makes me a b****, O.K.'" -Sue
"Can I ask you guys something private?" -Rachel
"Yes, you should move to Israel." -Santana
"Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby." -Quinn
"Just do what I do. Never say no." -Santana
"Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? *pause* Sorry, Quinn." -Brittany
"However, if you're planning on getting all up on this, I'm going to need you to make some changes. The goth thing was 2 years ago, so maybe lose the vampire makeup and consider some tighter fitting clothing. You've got the POW, and I believe you should work it more if we are going to be an item." -Artie
"The fact is women still earn 70 cents to every dollar a man does doing the same job. That attitude starts in high school." -Quinn
"What this is about is teenage girls feeling like they have no power." -Schu
"Right! And it makes sense, too, I mean, look at their role models! You know, you've got Britney Spears and her shaved head. Lindsey Lohan looks like something out of Lord of the Rings. Ann Coulter..." -Emma
"Sloppy Freakshow Babies! Somewhere in the English countryside in a stately manner home, Madonna is weaping!" -Sue
*sniff* "Oh, hey, William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair." -Sue
"No one quite like the Material Girl to empower my cheerios. Just like your hairdresser has empowered you to look absolutely ridiculous." -Sue
"You think is hard, I'm passing a gallstone as we speak! THAT'S hard!" -Sue
"What comes to mind when you see that name?" -Schu
"Genius." -Rachel
"Icon." -Kurt
"Hall of Fame MILF." -Puck
"Mr. Schu, as a dude, Madonna makes me kinda uncomfortable." -Puck
"Yeah, she's smokin' and everything, but can't some of us do something else? Like, the guy version of Madonna? Like, you know, Pantera?" -Finn
"Guys! You know, it's come to my attention that many of you haven't been treating the young ladies of our group very nicely lately. You're disrespectful, bullying, sexist, and, I hate to say it, misogynistic." -Schu
"I have no idea what that means." -Finn
"When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist." -Brittney
"I look smokin' hot." -Santana
"Guess who I'm dating? Wes Brody. He's super cute. He plays soccer with my sister. He's seven." -Brittney
"Hey, Finnocence." -Santana
"Look, Finn. It's high time you've lost the big V. Everything about you screams virgin. You're about as sexy as a Cabbage Patch Kid. It's exhausting to look at you." -Santana
"Well, look, I appreciate the offer, but I have feelings for someone else and I'm trying to work things out with them." -Finn
"Who Rachel? She's dating that Jesse kid from Vocal Adrenaline." -S
"No, she's not." -F
"PLEASE. You can smell it on her. She's like a cat in heat. She talked about him yesterday and practically sprayed the choir room." -S
(To Emma) "Simply put, you have all the sensuality of one of those pandas at the zoo who refuses to mate." -Sue
*Singing* "Open your heart with the keyyy...." -Rachel/Finn
*heavy breathing*
"That was good." -Rachel
"Totally." -Finn
*awkward pause*
*Run away in opposite directions*
"I'm going to Kaballah. Is that too much?" -Kurt
"It's gunna be Madge-ical. Madge. You know, Madonna's nickname?" -Kurt
"Enough with the hair jokes! Oh! By the way, how's the Florence Henderson look working out for you? *walks away... turns back* OH! Maybe you should try a new setting on your Flowbee. OH SNAP!" -Schu
"You know, kids, I grew up with a handicapable sister. My parents were famous Nazi-hunters, so they weren't around a lot. I had to bring her up on my own. I didn't have a lot of time or money to keep up with all the latest looks. But on my 6th birthday, "True Blue" was released, an album that would later sell over 30 million copies. And my sister and I took it upon ourselves to bleach my hair with whatever chemicals we could find around the house: ammonia... napalm... My hair was so damaged, I've been forced to wear it short ever since. It's been a daily ongoing pain." -Sue
"Wait. That would make you, like, 30?" -Mercedes
"29. And here's the truth. I mercilessly pick on Will Schuester's lustrous, wavy hair because I'm jealous. There, I said it." -Sue
"Mercedes is black. I'm gay. We make culture." -Kurt
*Book falls* "Sondheim on Music. *gasp* Jesse? Is that you?" -Rachel
"So glad you came. I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting place because only he would be able to express my melancholia." -Jesse
"Do you still have my Carebear?" -Jesse
"Yes." -Rachel
*sigh of relief* -J
"You deserve romance. No. You deserve EPIC romance. I feel badly that I pressured you into, you know... going all the way. I'm willing to wait. You tell me when you're ready, and I'll make sure that I am fastidiously groomed." -Jesse
"I've realized something, something really important. You know how we were talking about Madonna the other day and how her music was being blasted like an intimidating cluster bomb in everybody's offices except for mine because apparently I like a shred of sex appeal? Well, it struck me that the big Mo is always in control of everything. Her life is her own." -Emma
"OK?" -Will
"So, I need to take control of myself, and my body, just like Madonna. Which is why I'm planning on doing the nasty with you tonight at your place. Foreplay shall begin at 7:30 sharp. So? What do you think? Not that it matters." -Emma
"I couldn't agree more." -Will
"Great." -Emma
"Great." -Will
"7:30." -E
"Cool." -W
"Mmhmm." -E
(Singing in "Vogue") "Will Schuester, I hate you." -Sue
"Oh, hey there Whoopi, Don Knotts..." -Sue
"Here's a list of kids I want shipped off to New York with 35 bucks in their pocket. Operation Madonna is now complete." -Sue
"Sue, these are all glee kids." -Figgins
"Yup." -S
"I'm sorry, Sue. I'm having trouble concentrating. Your new look is--" -F
"FANTASTIC. Yeah, I agree." -S
"UNNECESSARY. Sue, you're a powerful woman. You don't need to copy anyone else. You're an original just like Madonna. Don't lose that quality." -F
"Do you mean that? Or are you just saying it because I poked a couple of kids' eyes out before 2nd period today?" -S
*knock* "Just come out so we can talk... or sing about it." -Jesse
"If I gave myself to you knowing my teammates wouldn't approve, it would be like I was sleeping with the enemy." -Rachel
"I thought I'd feel different after." -Finn
"Well, I've noticed it takes about 20 or so times before the feeling of accomplishment really kicks in. *pause* There's no menu, so you're going to have to take me to a burger joint. How do you feel?" -Santana
"I don't feel anything. Because, it didn't mean anything." -Finn
"You took ownership of your body on Friday when you said you weren't ready... and then ran out of my apartment with no shoes on." -Schu
"They're my favorites. Did you bring them?" -Emma
"What the hell? It seems like now everybody's doing things JUST to hurt my feelings!" -Finn
"I thought you all would take this news a little better. I'm a star. You can learn from me." -Jesse
"We were already fighting for second leads. Now that you've shown up, I've lost all hope of ever getting a solo." -Kurt
"Yeah, that's right! And ya'll just trump me out at the end of every number so I can wail on the last note! How is that OK?" -Mercedes
"He's a SPY, Mr. Schu! I would know!" -Santana
"I spoke to his parents!" -Schu
"They winter in Bali. It's a very expensive phone call." -Jesse
"Mr. Schu, is he your son?" -Brittany
"I don't understand why you're doing this." -Rachel
"Because when you love something, you gotta go for it. You would never be with my completely if I were on the opposing team. And I care about you more than winning another national title. So, I left Vocal Adrenaline... for you." -Jesse
"Sue, what the hell is going on here?" -Will
"What's the matter, buddy? Did ya miss the show? You probably had to run to the powder room. Let me fill ya in. Future center square Kurt Hummel there and his brassy hag Mercedes just tore that Madonna song a new one." -Sue
"What? You two are cheerios now?" -Will
"Yeah, I decided to add vocals to my already wildly overproduced cheerios numbers. It'll give us the edge at nationals." -Sue
"You guys could have at least given me the heads up?" -Will
"You mean the same way you gave us the heads up before NOT giving us the solo almost every week?" -Mercedes
"Mr. Schu, Mercedes and I talked it over and we love being in glee, but being in the cheerios will give us more opportunities to shine. So, we're doing both." -Kurt
"Ah, chipper up tiger. You know, I was down at the pharmacy today and they're having a monster sale on DEP. DEP is a hair gel. And once again, I am making fun of your incredibly stupid hairdo." -Sue
"Mr. Schu, I think we're going to need a new baritone, because Finn would like to become Finnessa." -Puck
"I think the way I was objectifying Tina may have sent her over the edge." -Artie
(Flashback)
"Hey girl!" -Artie
"My eyes are UP HERE! I am a person with feelings! GET OUT OF MY GRILL! I am a powerful woman and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality!!!" -Tina
"As an honorary girl, I have to agree. This team shouldn't work, but it does because we respect each others' talent. And if we want to take it to the next level, we have to start respecting each other as individuals. Really see each other." -Kurt
"You're really awesome, and you shouldn't change unless you want to. And if you want to get up on this, just let me know." -Artie
"Yup. That's more like it." -Tina
*kiss*
(Singing) "Life is a mystery... Everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name... and it feels like home." -Rachel
No comments:
Post a Comment